What is something you wish you had known sooner? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
Answer by Andrew Ferebee, Founder of Knowledge For Men | 3x Best Selling Author, on Quora:
There are a lot of things I wish that I’d known sooner. Here are the 7 biggest ones:
1. Life Isn’t Fair. Get Over It
People will screw you over. Businesses will fail. Innocent people will get hurt and guilty people will roam free.
Good people have bad things happen to them and bad people get what they want.
Life’s not fair.
But there isn’t anything you can do about it. So just get over it. If you waste your time complaining about the world you live in, you prevent yourself from changing it.
If you see injustice, then take action to remedy it. But for the love of God, stop complaining about it. We don’t live in a fair and just universe. You can either get over this fact and try to create an amazing life in spite of the injustice, or you can allow it to crush you.
It’s your choice.
2. It’s Not About How Much You Make, It’s About How Much You Keep
You can make millions and still be poor.
It doesn’t matter how much money you make; what matters is how much you keep.
Always try to save 10% or more of your income. Not for a rainy day. Save for opportunities.
The more money you have in a savings account, the faster you will be able to act when opportunity presents itself.
3. Choose Yourself
No one is going to give you permission to pursue your dreams. You have to choose yourself. You have to believe in yourself and have the balls to go for what you want. Stop waiting for someone else to give you the green light on your goals and just get out there and take them. Be a strong grounded man (or woman) and go after your dreams.
They are your dreams, after all.
4. Ignore 99% of the Advice People Give You
Most people are full of it. It’s not that they don’t mean well. It’s that they’ve never achieved the results you are after and therefore cannot advise you on how to move forward.
The golden rule of mentorship is simple:
If the person is someone you wouldn’t trade lives with, don’t take their advice. Period.
5. Your Character = Your Results
If your results suck, it’s because you suck. If you stop sucking, so will your results.
If you are broke, stressed out, and angry, it’s because you haven’t developed the character to earn real money, control your emotions, and live an exceptional life.
All results point to your character. Fix your character and your results will follow.
6. Speak Your Truth or Regret Living a Lie
There’s a common misconception in the world today that not telling a lie is the same as living in truth.
Let me make this clear…
If you aren’t stating your truth 100%, then you are living a lie.
If you aren’t telling people how you feel, being honest about your needs, and owning who you are, then you are lying to yourself and others.
Truth should always be shared with compassion and tact. But it MUST be shared.
7. You Won’t Find Your Purpose in a Relationship
You are your own person. You will never find meaning and purpose in a relationship with someone else. When you do this, you will act clingy, desperate, and lose sight of who you are. Don’t do it.
A good relationship is a mutual exchange of value between two people. It doesn’t mean that you have to be 50/50. It means that you need to be individuals with your own goals, dreams, and ambitions who come together to accelerate each other’s lives.
Have your own purpose and passion outside of your relationships or you will forever be stuck in codependency and neediness.
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